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Your Own Worst Enemy

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Are you, your own worst enemy?  Probably!  Most of us tend to degrade ourselves worse than others do.  Why?  When we do something that we feel was inadequate, not sufficient, not up to par, way overboard, less than perfect, and without expertise; we badmouth ourselves.  We become our own worst enemy.

We want to make ourselves feel better by saying we know that we were these things mentioned; just in case someone else noticed and thereby we are ready with a self defeating statement.  "Oh no, I know, I should have done this or that better."  Then we feel better to some degree because we acknowledged we are less than perfect.  We also sometimes carry the less than perfect feelings of ambivalence to a higher level and even take it to bed with us, causing sleepless nights and a mind of worry.  Yes, this is an excuse to doubt ourselves in every way, not just in the not so perfect something we did on one occasion, but we can begin to doubt everything we do as being "good" enough.

Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

Instead of self defeating thoughts and harboring self pity; tell yourself the exact opposite:

  • I am at peace with who I am.
  • I am learning from my experiences.
  • Without failure or less than perfect situations; I would not grow into being a more accomplished human being.
  • I make mistakes sometimes, more often than I wish, but I am working on perfecting the flaws which need perfecting and face the facts that actually no one is "perfect."
  • If I need to progress further with self discipline, I will work on that, I will work to produce what is needed of me without badgering myself for not being perfect the first or second time.
  • I do not claim to know all there is to know, but I am always looking to improve the quality of all I do.
  • I feel good about what I have accomplished as I am aware that excellence take work and lots of it.
  • I know that I do not have to steal any show; I am who I am, not someone else and everyone should have a chance to shine, not just me.
  • I know that I have a lot of life balances; not just work and it takes a strong person to clearly know what is most important in life.  
  • I know that sometimes I must make sacrifices, but I also know that it should not be sacrifices that would alter my quality of living.
When you turn out the lights at night, close your mind to the things of the day.  Tell yourself you have done the best that you could possibly do for the day.  Tonight is rest time and I will give my body, mind and soul, what it needs.  I refuse to let the things of the day, cloud my mind so that I do not sleep.  I will be refreshed come morning and what I need to do will be clear.

Being Our Own Worst Enemy is not healthy nor profitable for changing what we could possibly need to change to become more of what we would like to be.  It limits us because it produces fear and disgust at our own actions. There are times when we need to know exactly what we are reaching for as well.

The most profound accomplishments start within us.  If we believe in ourselves, we usually have the ability to accomplish more. What we think, is what we get. It really does not matter what someone else thinks. Most of the time, they are not paying attention anyway.  If we believe we can, we usually can; improve, accomplish more, be more assertive, and productive.

 Perfect? No, striving to be perfect is a useless waste of time and uncalled for.  We can't sit on the porch and criticize everything we do and wish we were more perfect or, we will find ourselves lacking in our ability to even start a task, project or whatever it is we need to do.  If we can't start something; we can't finish it or even try to become better at it.  It all comes down to being at peace with one little accomplishment at a time and knowing that all things come to those who take their time and wait, but most importantly;  know that; "You" can't be You Own Worst Enemy, you must believe in yourself.

Linda Todd


Jon Clayton said...

Linda, I am the greatest challenge I will ever face in life as well as the greatest opportunity I will ever encounter in my life. Good post. I enjoyed it!

Linda said...

Thank you Jon Clayton for stopping by and posting some nice words. I appreciate it. I am also the greatest challenge in my life. Sometimes the things I try so hard to cure....keep popping and there...constant work.

Auto Accident Attorneys Utah said...

I printed out the list of affirmations. I'll use them as a bookmark and refer to them from time to time. Thanks!

Linda said...

Thank you Auto Attorneys Utah for stopping by to read and comment. I appreciate it.

Jared said...

Good article, but doesn't tie things off with the "what now?" solution. Being at peace with one's self and comfortable with our failures and imperfections is one step...but the underlying issues that lead to this kind of thinking do much more than make us "down on ourselves". Some people are utterly paralyzed by their insecurities and fears of failure. So being OK with YOU is step one. Step 2 though needs to deal with "how do we fix the mess that we created with our self-defeating thinking?".

As a career-coach and resume writer, the lesson that I would transport to readers of this is the importance of "goals" in your "step 2". By defining goals, you now have a path cleared in fron of you (a path you can hopefully see clearly now, with the obstacles that you've been throwing in your own way finally cleared away).

I'm definitely my own worst enemy: I sabotoge my efforts subconsiously due to my fears of failure. If I never start something, I can fail at it. Accepting that I don't have to be perfect, however, doesn't move me forward. Goals, in small increments, will.

Jared Peterson
Career-Support Writer
Social Marketing Strategist
Resume Writing and Career Support

Linda said...

Jared, thank you for joining in the conversation and adding your ideas. Procrastination is a problem for some and no it does not end with just accepting that we should not be our own worst enemy. However, we must take one step at a time and discover what works best for each of us and not rush ourselves. When we stop being our own worst enemy; then we can start with step 2 and set goals which are realistic....

miami movers said...

To be able to recognize these bullet points is a huge step forward for anyone.

Linda said...

Thanks for coming here to read and comment. I appreciate it so much.

Christopher Scott said...

Very informative! Our natural tendencies as humans can hold us back if we are not aware of them. Becoming aware of these natural tendencies such as being self critical are something that the most successful people at one point had to overcome in order to climb to the top. It is something we all must realize and not take for granted so that we can actually move our progress forward in a positive manner!

Really great post, I like all the posts I've read so far!

Linda said...

Thank you so much Christopher. I appreciate you stopping here to leave such a nice comment. Yes, we all have a tendency to somehow hurt ourselves by thinking we aren't as good as someone else; when we are always only as good as we think we are.

Thank you again