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Emotional Intelligence - How to Improve

To be truly successful in anything, we must first discover who we really are!  We cannot be Emotionally Intelligent without knowing who we are.

Need to get more Emotional Intelligence?  Let's talk about some ways that we may can get to a higher EI status within our life.  This is for everyone; not just the leader but it is very important for those who want to progress with their professional life.

When thinking about any leader in a company, most upper management wants someone that they know has the ability to lead, to discipline, to foresee when something is not going as planned, and knows what to do in case of an emergency.  They want someone who is going to save the company dollars and cents, and they want someone with integrity and loyalty.

The latter two characteristics that we mentioned is more or less the part that is taken for minimum qualifications for any job. You must have integrity and loyalty, even if you are lacking other Emotional Intelligence; you have to be genuine and loyal.  They do not need you as an employee if you cannot be loyal to the company, and work with principle. 

Most people have part of emotional intelligence, if not all the characteristics.  Those who have somehow developed their skills to all attributes; let me say, I would want them on my team. However, for those of us who need to improve and grow more, here is how we are going to do it:
  • Self Evaluation: We start with looking at ourselves and learning who we really are.
What exactly does this entail?  Who are you really?  Do you really know?  You will not manage others well, or be a great leader without knowing who you are first. 
  • Have you ever really looked within your character to see what you could improve? 
  • How do you respond to others?  How do you react to other people's annoying behaviors?
  • How do you relate to other peoples mistakes? 
  • How do you react to stress? 
  • How do you react to disappointment? 
  • Do you make fast decisions? 
  • Do you think things through before making a decision? 
  • Do you rush to judgement before knowing all the facts? 
  • Can you put yourself into another person's moccasins?
  • Are you judgemental instead of trying to understand? 
  • Do you care about other peoples feeling, desires and needs? 
  • What are your weaknesses? 
  • Do you accept that you are not perfect and that everyone needs improvement in some areas? 
  • Can you look within, with an honest evaluation? 
  • Do you think that you could be a better person? 

This is a lot of questions to be answered by you and you alone.  I am sure you know what the right answers are; especially if you have read  Emotional Intelligence; part one.
  • Working environment and/or social environment.

Are you the cool cat that needs all of the attention?  Do you like being in the spotlight?  Do you want other peoples praises more than you like to give praises to others?  Are you the loud mouth who wants to be at the center of everything; without giving anyone else the chance to shine.  Character that Shines has the ability to sit back; remain assertive, but still be humble and modest.  Being humble and modest with our accomplishments does not mean that we do not have self confidence.  Character that Shines is one who is self confident yet able to let another person stand out above them. This person doesn't need anyone to brag on them; they are secure in who they are and what their endeavors are.  They are not seeking any one's approval, yet they have the ability to give their approval and encouragement to others.  They are first to see that to get the most out of a team; is to everyone the chance to exploit their abilities.  All some people need is a change to show their potential; because we all have it tucked somewhere within.
It is really important to be able to see our mistakes and learn from them. As we have already concluded; not any of us are "perfect."  I wish!!!  If we hurt someone we should have the Emotional Intelligence that we have done something inaccurately and apologize. This is not a weakness; it is indeed a strength.  So many people hate to apologize and men have a lot of problems with this, I think more than women. This shows that you are compassionate and care about other people and how they feel and how you are relating to them. You can't pretend you haven't made a misjudgment or mistake. You can't play the blame game for an error if you are the one who has made the error or given the order. If someone does something you have instructed them to do; it is not their fault, should the results not be what was intended. In any situation; a leader is responsible for the team, regardless of how the results are affected...good or bad.
  • Learning how not to react... Very important....
This is a step in all aspects of life that probably needs attention for all of us. Relationships of any type are better guarded if one or both parties know how to control their responses and reactions.  THINK, and weigh the fact before giving a rebuttal.  Work relationships are important, because when someone makes an error, they are humiliated by the error. It will not help the matter if there is a wrong reaction from the person in charge or any other team member. It cannot change the outcome or what the issue is. Thinking clearly and with a positive reaction, is more productive. Remembering it could be you, is the best reaction, and finding the best resolution with as little of commotion as possible, is far more profitable to the company.

At the end of each day, we will know that we have accomplished our goals, if our daily task are finished as they were defined. We made some improvement in our own personal growth, and emotional intelligence without offending another human.

Linda Todd


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